Sad but productive?

Today, I worked with one of my colleagues for the last time. Because she's off on holiday, and I'm off to uni, it was the last time we were going to be working together - so it was kind of a weird day. I can't believe soon it's all coming to an end. It's heartbreaking.

But on a productive note - I think I've decided on a title for my novel, and have planned up to chapter 19 now. I'm finding planning hard, as I know a character is going to die - if planning is that hard, then actually writing it is going to be harder. I get very attached to my characters.

I would write more, but my head is pounding. I should probably get some sleep.

Waiting for the scales to tip.

Depression has sunk in, and it's not for myself. It's for my colleagues. My friends. The smiling faces I see every day when I go into work.
Because of one person wishing to get their own way; a schoolyard argument - all of my colleagues think it's over. This is it. In just a couple of months time, they won't have their jobs anymore. I can't take it - these are good people this is happening to. It doesn't affect me - I'm leaving for university next month. But for them - I want to cry for all of them, to make it better.

How can I make things better when it is out of my control?

What is it I need, what is it I want?

I move out in 5 weeks. Right now, I'm excited, but I know that that's going to turn into nervousness when it gets closer. I'm so excited about the fact that I'm going to be at university doing photography all the time! It's going to be great.

I majorly need to pick up my camera. I want to but I'm not sure how much I feel it. I need to feel my pictures again, especially before I go to uni.

I'm thinking of starting another blog - one which is funny rather than me moaning or whatever you want to refer to this as. We'll see.

Ticking on. Ticking on. Ticking on.

Right now is one of those times when there is so much to do and no where near enough time to do it. There's the issue of want versus need.
Perhaps writing a list would be a good idea. For a while, I wrote lists of things I needed to do everyday, then would tick the things off once I did them. Some of the things on the list would roll over to the next day, and then the next and then the next... Sometimes getting done, sometimes not.
I make promises to myself that I will do something, and then never do.

Perhaps someone could teach me how to manage my time a little better.

Home again.

I've been on holiday for the past 2 weeks and got home yesterday. I had an amazing time and I didn't want to come home. I felt some sort of connection with the place, making it so hard to leave.
I met a family member I'd never met before.
My camera never left me.
I bought a new sketching journal which I love, and will now never leave my side, along with my writing journal.

Not only did the holiday leave me feeling relaxed, but I feel so inspired. I don't know if I've ever felt this inspired before.
Plot-points for a novel I've been writing since earlier this year have started to fall into place.
I have a huge art project I want to work on, having planned a lot of it while on holiday.
Hopes and dreams finally feel like they could become reality.

I found myself.