I'm a bad blogger.

I completely understand that like no-one reads my blog, but I still feel like a bad blogger. You know, for not updating since forever. 

And by forever, I mean just over a week or so - but still, it's a pretty long time.

For those of you who don't know, I moved to University just over a week ago, and I never realised how hectic Fresher's week was going to be. There was always something going on - whether it was our Beach themed party night (that was awesome!) or having to go and do my own food shopping (hooray for running around a Supermarket), I've been on the go all the time.

And now, I am shattered. I'm ready for a holiday just to recover from a week of late nights and induction lectures.

As well as being a bad blogger, I'm also a bad photographer. I hate not having the time to pick up my camera. I have taken photos once this week - we went on a trip out to an art gallery and a museum with my course - where I took 82 photos. To be honest, I'm quite pleased with some of them and am currently in love with Depth of Field.

This afternoon involves a trip to a camera shop to get some photos printed (I hope they do an hour/immediate service... I need these for my lecture tomorrow...) and then some extra ones to put on my wall, and make it all feel a little more homely.

So instead of blogging, I should really be doing other stuff, but I thought I'd fill you guys in on my life, just a little bit.

Tangled up.

Yesterday I was listening to music using my headphones - otherwise my mum gets annoyed cause she can hear my music, and she's usually trying to listen to the radio. Parents, eh? But this isn't a rant about parents. It's a rant about headphones.
I bought some new headphones a couple of weeks ago, cause ever since one of the ear pieces on my Apple one fell in my couple of tea... it hadn't quite worked the same since. I still have no idea how it ended up in my tea, but that's life really. So, my new ones are blue, to match my iPod, and they're very nice and headphoney.
But this is the problem. Whenever I take out my headphones, even if the wires were straight when I took them out, and I put them down on the table... when I come back to pick them up, they are always tangled. Always! How is this even possible? Do headphones feel the need to make life more difficult by tangling themselves, so you have to spend ages working out how the undo all the knots that have appeared by themselves.
Yes, I realise there are more important things that should be worried about, but headphones knots are sweeping the nation, without their users even realising it's happening.
I'm sat here, as I type (hey, I can type without looking and the keys or the screen) looking at my headphones, waiting for them to move or tangle themselves, just to provide some frustration. They're not doing anything, but I know as soon as my back is turned and I come back to them - BAM - there'll be knots.
Perhaps there's some sort of headphone science that hasn't been discovered yet.

Everything's changing.

It's started to sink in this week how much everything around me is changing. I'm one of those annoying people who doesn't like change that much - I get set in ruts way too much, and I guess now that everything is changing, this is going to put me in situations that I might not like, but hey, I'll be learning something and I should be grateful for that.

For those of you who don't know (if anyone even reads my blog, that is) I'm starting university and it's now  10 days (if I'm counting right) until I leave, and I'm starting to freak out a little. I'm worried about not seeing my friends. My closest girl friend is leaving for her university this weekend and I'm going to miss her so much! Luckily, we're only going to be about an hour or so away from each other by train, but she's helped me through so much and I'm always there for her. I think it's going to take a fair bit of adjusting to not having her around. We've been friends since we were about 5.

My boyfriend is moving to the same city with me, so I'm pretty lucky that I have him as a constant in my life, when everything else is changing.
While we're moving away, we're leaving our church behind. I love my church. The people there are like a family to me and settling into a new church away from there is going to be really tough. On Sunday, one of the people there told me they really want me to lead a church service again, and that I have a "sunny disposition". Made me smile.

Yesterday was my last day at my job. I've been there since just before my 17th birthday, so almost 4 years. Handing back my keys was tough, I thought I was going to just burst into tears!

But perhaps moving away is going to be a good thing. I'm hoping it'll help me to rely more on God, as I won't have my other "constants" to rely on anymore. I'll have to completely put my trust in him, something that can sometimes be a little difficult.
I'm also going to be studying photography and hopefully I'll make it somewhere in life.

Sad but productive?

Today, I worked with one of my colleagues for the last time. Because she's off on holiday, and I'm off to uni, it was the last time we were going to be working together - so it was kind of a weird day. I can't believe soon it's all coming to an end. It's heartbreaking.

But on a productive note - I think I've decided on a title for my novel, and have planned up to chapter 19 now. I'm finding planning hard, as I know a character is going to die - if planning is that hard, then actually writing it is going to be harder. I get very attached to my characters.

I would write more, but my head is pounding. I should probably get some sleep.

Waiting for the scales to tip.

Depression has sunk in, and it's not for myself. It's for my colleagues. My friends. The smiling faces I see every day when I go into work.
Because of one person wishing to get their own way; a schoolyard argument - all of my colleagues think it's over. This is it. In just a couple of months time, they won't have their jobs anymore. I can't take it - these are good people this is happening to. It doesn't affect me - I'm leaving for university next month. But for them - I want to cry for all of them, to make it better.

How can I make things better when it is out of my control?

What is it I need, what is it I want?

I move out in 5 weeks. Right now, I'm excited, but I know that that's going to turn into nervousness when it gets closer. I'm so excited about the fact that I'm going to be at university doing photography all the time! It's going to be great.

I majorly need to pick up my camera. I want to but I'm not sure how much I feel it. I need to feel my pictures again, especially before I go to uni.

I'm thinking of starting another blog - one which is funny rather than me moaning or whatever you want to refer to this as. We'll see.

Ticking on. Ticking on. Ticking on.

Right now is one of those times when there is so much to do and no where near enough time to do it. There's the issue of want versus need.
Perhaps writing a list would be a good idea. For a while, I wrote lists of things I needed to do everyday, then would tick the things off once I did them. Some of the things on the list would roll over to the next day, and then the next and then the next... Sometimes getting done, sometimes not.
I make promises to myself that I will do something, and then never do.

Perhaps someone could teach me how to manage my time a little better.