I started it yesterday, wasn't happy with what I'd done, so am starting from scratch again today. And already I'm feeling much better about it.
I'd feel even better if I wasn't so frustrated.
I don't want to give too much away about what I'm working on, but I'll tell you this - what I'm trying to achieve and use within this project... well, I'm wondering whether it's impossible.
Except, I know full well that it isn't.
Note to brain: Stop being so pessimistic. Isn't the point of this project to show that there is hope? That you can achieve and that things can work out? How ever frustrating they might be.
I've only ever done what I'm trying to do once or twice before - and it took days and days of practicing until I got it perfect.
Have I lost my patience?
No, that can't be it.
I can be patient, and I know it.
Maybe.
Maybe I'm just expecting way too much from myself.
Every time I upload a new photo to flickr, I find myself more and more disappointed each time. Disappointed in myself, that my photos aren't better.
Disappointed in myself that I am clearly going backwards, while everyone around me is improving.
Disappointed in myself for not creating something so spectacular that people actually want to look at it.
I'm trying.
Am I even trying enough?
Am I pushing myself and trying to my full potential?
I don't know anymore.
Let's just hope that when I've done with this project, I'm pleased with it, and people will see what I hope is potential.
Maybe I'll leave a mark.
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